So I bought a skateboard on Monday. It has been a few years since I last rode. So I practiced on Monday night and it was like riding a bike. No problem. So Tuesday morning I grabbed the board and headed to the office. No problems, I fell once, hitting a rock and stopping the board instantly. No harm no foul. I used my ninja skills to fall and roll. On my way home, that’s another story.

On my way home I was rolling to the bus stop (yes I rode the board and the bus) when I saw a picture opportunity. I reached into my pocket to grab my camera. As the stars aligned and with my hands in my pocket, I rolled into a pebble. This pebble was all that was needed to halt the board and send me flying. My hands are still in my pocket and this time I used a much less graceful ninja tactic. I landed on my face. No shit – face first on the concrete.

If you don’t know how bad my vision is, let me give you an example. If you take a picture and then make it real blurry, and I mean real blurry – that is what I see without my glasses. So to fall on my face and have my glasses shatter was not a benefit. Especially considering that I had just left the office. I picked the remains of my glasses, gathered my board and walked to the bus stop. I could feel the warm drip of blood as my face started to bleed. The bus arrived 5 minutes later.

I wiped all the blood from my face, but my face continued to bleed. The bus pulled to a stop and the doors opened. As I got on the bus the bus driver informed me that, “I can’t let you ride with an open wound, sorry.” I was in no mood to argue, but I really wanted to ride that bus. Instead, I was forced to utilize my skateboard, the one working lens of my glasses and my memory to get home. I arrived home, took a rape shower and ordered a pizza.

So where are they now. My glasses are done, I had a few contacts left and I am using those. My board is at the house, I will continue to practice riding. I will have a killer scar and I am sure it will help with the ladies.