As most of you know, I work as a sales assistant. That means sales people surround me. Now sales people are not like you and me, they sell stuff. But importantly, they sell stuff to people who don’t necessarily want to buy stuff. So it’s all about them making you like them. Unfortunately, this carries on into their everyday life.

“Hello, may I speak to Mr. You-their-on-the-phone? I’m calling to tell you about a great opportunity. What? You’re not interested. But this is a great opportunity. Listen CHIEF, we have a chance to make things happen. Are you going to turn that away, BUDDY? OK, but I’ll let you know when this opportunity comes back around, OK GUY?”

People call you BUDDY, CHIEF, or GUY when they don’t remember your name; It’s easier and less insulting to some. For me, it pisses me off. It’s not so much from the four people I assist, it’s from the other sales professionals in the office. Here’s how a sales person asks you to put paper in the copier:

“Hey buddy, how’s it going? (First of all, they don’t care how things are going for you, they care about paper in the copier.) You know, I was wondering if you could do me a favor. (A favor is something they don’t want to do, so they ask you to do it.) It seems the copier is out of paper and, uhh, if you could fill it up, that would be great. OK? Thanks Chief.”

Of course I’ll fill the copier, it’s my job to do that. That’s what you pay me to do. You pay me to assist you. Part of that assistance is making sure the copier has paper. So I’m not doing you a favor, I’m performing my job. So why call it a favor? It’s not. If you want me to do something, step up and ask. “Mike (notice I used my name), the copier’s out of paper, will you put some in ASAP? Thank you.”

Have you heard the phrase “Can you do me a favor? I’ll pay you for it.” As soon as you introduce the payment option, it’s no longer a favor; it’s a job offer. You are offering me money to do something. I can now decide if the money you are offering is sufficient for the job to be performed. I can reject a job offer either because I don’t like you, or I don’t like the job, or a combination of both. If you want a favor, ask me for a favor. And when you ask for a favor, except to perform a favor in return, at anytime, in any situation. If you’ve got some cash, them make me an offer, no return favor expected.

Now I have to go fill the copier.